Breaking Up With My Phone.

 About a month ago, I was walking along and came across one of those "take a book, leave a book" library cupboards. I was in between books at the time and needed something new to read so I stopped and had a peak inside. I came across a book titled "How to Break Up with Your Phone" by Catherine Price. 

Now, for the last year or so I had been noticing my eyesight seriously declining. I knew it was because of all my screen time. Staring at something right in front of me sometimes for an hour or two straight. It's terrifying, really, how much time we spend waste looking at our phones. I had been meaning to minimize my screen time and now seemed like as good of a time as any to start.

The first half of the book goes through a bunch of research and studies, telling you why you need to "break up" with your phone. The second half goes through how to do so and how to rebuild a better relationship with your device. 

I spent a week or so reading the first half and look, I knew that excessive phone use was bad for us but I didn't realize just how bad it was. I appreciated the fact that the author wrote about it from an approach not to scare you into not using your phone, but rather just to inform you on what happens psychologically, emotionally and physically to us as we excessively use them. No fear mongering involved. 

I had already started to use my phone's "focus" status options. Basically a customizable Do Not Disturb. I have one where I only get notifications from my parents and boyfriend, and one that activates while I am driving, which only allows phone calls. This did help me to some extent, but I still found myself sliding up my notifications from my home screen to check if anything happened while I had it on. The fear of missing out. I was afraid that I'd miss someone's invitation to hang out, or something from one of the very few group chats I am a part of. 

Once I got started on the month-long challenge she puts you on in the second half, I really started to notice a change. I put a screen time widget on my homepage, put a time restriction on Instagram (the social media app I could spend hours a day on), and turned off notifications for all apps other than for text messages. 

I found myself using my phone less and less, using it mainly now only for Spotify and texting. On my transit rides to school, I found myself reading or just observing my surroundings rather than being glued to my phone. I enjoy transiting and always found that the ride was too short. Without being on my phone the ride seemed to morph into the perfect length.

I noticed myself just starting to exist more. Being present in the moment. Going for little walks, little adventures. Noticing the things around me.  It can be mundane to just exist but it's also a little bit comforting. Romanticizing the little things. Something I used to be great at but had sort of lost.

Lately, I've been so caught up in looking forward to the next big thing that I forget to enjoy the current moment I'm living. Not being on my phone, specifically social media, really helped me to not always think about what I'm missing out on. I'm not perfect at that. I still have my longing for something bigger. Bigger adventures, bigger experiences. 

I'm learning, though, that there really is beauty in the small things. In fact, part of being a free spirit involves being able to make anything a big adventure. Instead of just walking at the beach, I could go and run in, despite the freezing cold. Instead of taking the same route somewhere I go often, I could try walking or driving a new way. Rather than going to Starbucks for the thousandth time, I could go explore and find a new coffee shop. 

My screen time went from on average 5-7 hours a day, down to an average of 2-3 hours. 

(And let me tell you, sleeping with your phone on the opposite side of your room, or even better outside of your room, is a gamechanger)

When I was with my friends (the rare occasion) I felt more engaged in the conversations as I wasn't checking every notification that came in. 

We are so attached to our phones. It is scary. Now that I've started to actually notice each and every time I pick up my phone, asking myself why, I've started to really take notice of when those around me are on their devices. How on the bus ride home there are times when every single person around me is using their phone. I see people crossing the street while texting. I notice when my parents, friends, or boyfriend are on their phones during a conversation or hangout. 

As is pointed out in the book, phones aren't the enemy. We don't have to get rid of them. They are really a great tool for calling and texting, or in the case of an emergency. It's just when we misuse them. Waste hours on social media, become jealous of what we don't have, set unrealistic body/beauty standards for ourselves. 

I still have days where I'm on my phone more than my new usual. I still check my social media at least once a day. I still spend way too much time texting when I should be doing schoolwork. I'm not perfect and neither are you or anyone else. The point isn't to be perfect, it's to improve. 

What I do have is more free time. More time to work on school or personal projects like this blog. I spend more time outside. I spend more time doing things that make me genuinely happy like artwork or writing, I even took a free beginner ballet class on youtube!

btw I did a mini ballet recital for my boyfriend for our 2 year anniversary. Despite being very uncoordinated and more like baby ballet, he loved it. 

I really recommend anyone who has a smartphone to read this book. And if you don't have access to the book or don't want to buy it, you could probably find super similar articles or "how-to's" online. For at least one day, a full 24 hours, I want you to delete all social media apps off of your phone. Instagram, Snapchat (be sure to send your streaks first!), Facebook, even Youtube. Basically anything with a "reel" or "TikTok" -like feature... Put your phone on do not disturb or a customized focus setting for the day too. Notice how you feel. Notice when and why you crave your phone. Are you bored? anxious? procrastinating? During the day do something for yourself, something you always say you "don't have the time" for. Read a book, go on a walk, meet up with an old friend, paint something, teach yourself a new skill, SOMETHING.

Here's to living more in the moment. To living more screen-free.

Have a great day,

Mckenna <3

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