Learning to enjoy slow days

 As I have mentioned on here before, I feel the need to always be doing something either exciting or productive. I tend to feel rather bored and restless with the mundane, like I am wasting my time. Of course, my journey is about learning how to do those exciting tasks. However, it is also about learning to be okay with the less exciting tasks. After all, self-care is still productive. I just have to reprogram my mind to think so. 

I started cycle-syncing about a month and a half ago. If you or someone close to you menstruates, I highly recommend that you look into it. In short, it's syncing your food, workouts and daily activates with whichever phase of your cycle you are currently in (there are four total). I don't sync absolutely every part of my life yet, it's only my second cycle trying. I'm still learning. I do find that I am slowly becoming more in tune with my body, my mood, my needs and wants. 

I woke up today to my menstrual phase starting early, a very unpleasant surprise. I had big plans for the day. Studying, taking an exam for my online class, cleaning my room. But from the second I woke up I had absolutely no energy. I had cramps, I felt bloated, I was so tired despite having a great sleep. That's when I realized that I had to change my plans. I needed a slow day rather than a fast paced one. 

Usually, I feel super guilty when I have a slow or relaxing day. I feel restless, like I need to get out and go do something "crazy." But that's not always what I need. I think as I'm working through this I am definitely realizing that not every day has to be adventure-packed for me to have a fulfilling life. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely long for and need the adventure-packed days and moments. But the point of this whole journey of mine is to do that while maintaining a balance.

The first thing I did was cancel my exam. I know it might seem like I just didn't want to do it or I was procrastinating it. But really. I did NOT want to sit in a room I had never been in before with anxiety AND cramps. That's just way too much. My class is online and I get to book my own tests so I simply rebooked it for another day. 

I started off my day slow. I put on some comfy clothes and went downstairs to drink some water and made breakfast. I didn't have the energy to make a super exciting breakfast like I normally do, so I just made some oatmeal with a banana. I attempted to make an at-home iced matcha latte, but my almond milk tasted fizzy which means it's gone bad. I lounged around for a bit after eating and then slowly brushed my teeth and washed my face, but on a little makeup. I was supposed to see my boyfriend for a little before my exam but now that it was postponed, I had more time with him. 

It was really nice out. Warm too. It felt like summer. With the birds chirping and the slight breeze. Even my room was getting too warm for comfort, for the first time this year. I went outside for a light walk. With my music playing I went around the neighbourhood, through a park. I even picked a flower to put in my hair. It was beautiful. Within minutes I felt my cramps subside and my mood increase. Even my energy increased slightly. 

It was my walk that emphasized that I shouldn't be mad at myself for not doing crazy adventures all the time. During certain phases of my cycle, my body just needs a rest. It needs to slow down, focus on the moment, relax. 

My lovely boyfriend showed up with some surprise flowers, he always picks out the best ones and adds a pop of yellow since it's my favourite colour. I always keep him updated on which phase I'm in so he knows what to expect mood/energy wise. He had the idea for us to work on our little photo album that we decorate every so often. It was so simple but such a perfect activity. We went on a walk to get starbucks since I hadn't been able to have my matcha in the morning. It was so warm out that we didn't even need jackets! The sun was shining down warming us. We got to make a wish on a wishing flower. Oh and of course we cuddled when we got back because what girlfriend doesn't need cuddles during her period??

Regardless of the long list of things I have to get done, or more "exciting" things I could have done, I truly needed a day to just exist; to flow throughout the day. I needed the walk in the sun, to enjoy a drink with my love, to relax and smile. I have felt as if I have lost the part of me who lived in the moment and romanticized as much as possible. Slowly but surely I feel that part of me coming back a bit more every single day. 

Here is to giving our bodies what they need,

Mckenna <3