A Time For Growth
Instead I opt to make goals. Goals are great and all, but I have this habit of staying the same while I cross them off my list. I tend to stay stagnant, safe. I fall into a constant state of overthinking and procrastination. In return I never really get around to crossing off as many goals as I had hoped. I go back and forth with myself on how I'll do something, or when I should do it, but I always miss the most important step; actually doing it.
This year, I want to make actual resolutions. I've spent a lot of my time lately thinking. I've thought about a lot. Who I am, who I want to be and how I can be that person. I've always believed that you shouldn't wait until New Years to start a new goal or resolution, and I do still believe that. This year, all my thinking and pondering; my epiphany, happened to fall around the start of the year. As with last year, I want to share my goals publicly to hold myself accountable. Even if no one reads this, I still love the fact that this blog is like a time capsule for me. A space where I can reflect and share whatever I please.
My overall goal this year is to grow. 2023 was a year without much personal growth. I don't feel I've really changed for the better. In fact, I think I fell into more bad habits than good. This year, I want to work towards reversing those bad habits, replacing them with good. I want to grow into the individual I know I'm meant to become.
1. Read one book a month
I've always loved reading, but I've fallen in and out of it over the years. I definitely started reading more in 2023 although I was quite inconsistent with it, reading more some months and not at all in others. They say consistency is key, and I want to start learning to be consistent with many things in my life, and why not start with something I actually enjoy? I heard on the radio the other day that the number one reason why people fail their New Years resolutions is that they set too big of a goal. I'm typically a slow reader, but I proved to myself last week that I'm fully capable of finishing an entire book in just a few days. I recently travelled for the holiday with my family and I was able to finish an entire novel in the first 5 days. Mind you, the 5 hour plane ride and 3 hour train ride definitely helped, but a majority of my reading was actually done before bed or in downtime during the day. Knowing this, one book a month should be completely doable
Book reviews in the future???
2. Two blog posts a month
Along with my inconsistency of reading, I also was not as consistent with blogging as I wanted to be. Which is a shame as I thoroughly enjoy writing. I've written a blog before about how important I believe personal projects are, and this blog is my personal project, so it's hypocritical of me to not prioritize it! Staggering posts bi-weekly should give me plenty of time to write. Most posts I'm able to write in one sitting, so it's more about not finding, but making the time.
3. Travel and Adventure more.
This one is hard to define because what exactly do I mean by "more?" Well even I don't exactly know. In early 2023 I came to the conclusion that I really want to travel. I adore adventuring and seeing new places. I've just felt so stuck and thought it wasn't possible for me. School was a big excuse of mine for not getting away and seeing more last year. This semester I don't have any classes, and I've made sure to keep 3 days in a row off of work to give me time to go. Travelling can mean a lot of things and can be different between people. For me here's what I'm defining my "travel more" goal as:
- One solo camping trip (Late February/Early March)
- Three other camping trips (April-July)
- One trip by train
- One out of country trip
- bi-weekly hikes, lake days, beach days, exploring new towns/places or solo dates; adventures
4. Keep a clean workspace
Something I really struggle with is keeping my space tidy. I'm a person who likes to have and keep a lot of things, but I don't exactly have the space to store them. Because of this it's always been extremely hard for me to keep my room "clean" there just isn't enough space to put things without it looking cluttered. I find it really hard to focus when there's a bunch of clutter around me. I'll pick up a random bottle of nail polish sitting by my keyboard and start fixing my chipped polish, I'll see scrap paper on the floor and stop what I'm doing to go take it downstairs, see my overflowing closet and feel the need to reorganize it (and abandoning the idea halfway through leaving an even bigger mess). For me, having the goal of keeping my entire roomy tidy 100% of the time is super daunting. I've had that goal forever and can never seem to reach it. So for now, my goal is to keep my workspace tidy. i.e. my desk. A clear desk and space underneath to ensure I can keep more focused while blogging, doing school work, etc.
5. Leave room for failure
This is the last resolution I want to talk about in depth, but I think it may be one of the most important. Often I find me beating myself up for not reaching my goals in the timeframe or to the extent I was hoping. I tend to have an "all or nothing" mindset. I get mad at myself for not doing as well as I want to in classes, for not focusing, for not being consistent 100% of the time, for not being good enough. Allowing myself to grow, I want to give myself grace. Give myself the space to fail, to learn. No one is perfect and I am definitely not the exception. Mistakes are an indication of trying, and trying is an indication of wanting. You can't get somewhere without trying and where there's trying there will be mistakes alone the way. The key thing is to not stop after one mistake. To grow is to learn from your mistakes and shortcomings.
I of course have some other goals as well, being kinder both to myself and others, taking care of my skin, working out 3-5 times a week, learning to forgive, those are just a few. I never want to stop growing, I have so many goals I want to achieve. I often let myself get overwhelmed with everything I want to do, and then never know where to start. For the time being, at least these first few months, I want to focus on these main 5 resolutions. And if the plan goes as I hope, growth will follow.
Wishing you love and happiness this year,
Mckenna <3
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