Redefining Self-Care
Ever since having my quarter-life crisis I've been go go go trying to accomplish everything all at once. I just want to be out 24/7, always doing something exciting. But that's when burnout happens. I've definitely experienced burnout a few times. Last winter I was going out with friends almost every single day, before work, after work, on my days off. It felt really good in the moment but after a month or so of doing that, I began to feel exhausted. I needed balance. I needed some self-care.
That's the thing with goals and dreams. You're never going to reach them if you don't take care of yourself along the way on your journey. But what exactly is self-care? It's just facemasks and bubble baths, right?
The media often portrays self-care as something you can just do once in a while when you need it. Like a singular activity such as putting cucumbers over your eyes while you're in the bath. And then that's it. suddenly you're calm and refreshed.
I like to think of self-care as more than just a relaxing spa day. Self-care is a personalized experience. It's listening to your mind and your body, giving them what they need.
We need to redefine self-care.
Self-care is different for everyone
Self-care is the act of taking care of yourself, your body, your mind, your soul. What you need, what recharges you, might be completely different from another person. For some, bubble baths and facemasks do recharge them. For others, they are merely a relaxing component. Taking care of yourself requires you to listen to your body and what it needs. Relaxing when you are tired, hanging out with friends or family when you feel social, calming yourself when you feel anxious. Our bodies are all different. Some may need more alone time to recharge and others may need more social time. You need to find out what works for you.
It's more than relaxing
I feel like self-care often gets mistaken for relaxing alone time. Alone time and relaxing of course are parts of self-care, but are not the entire act. It's allowing yourself to live out your passions, keeping yourself active, letting yourself learn, taking care of your space. It's about energizing yourself.
So how do you energize yourself?
This is a part that's unique to everyone. Everyone has a different way of energizing themselves, of refilling their battery. I know for me, I love getting outside. Going on little walks, even just short ones around the block, to refill my battery. Getting out makes me feel accomplished while also giving my mind a break. I usually put on music or a podcast and enter my own little world free from stress. Once in a while, I don't listen to anything, just allowing myself to be alone with my thoughts as I hear the sounds of nature (and cars) around me. I also crave being social every day, especially on days when I'm alone for most of it. Work is an outlet for me. I work customer service so I definitely get to be social, and bonus points if my favourite coworkers are there to entertain me. On days when I don't have work, however, I try to make sure I have some kind of extended social interaction. Whether it's seeing my boyfriend or going out with a friend or even just going downstairs to talk with my mom when she gets home from work.
I know for other people, they energize themselves in other ways. My one friend, Hibeth, enjoys her alone time. She always needs it, especially after having to be social for long periods of time. She will just do her own thing alone to recharge. For my mom, she likes to relax and catch up on her soap operas, maybe going out alone afterward.
Working on your passion project
It's important to never forget about your passion projects. That in itself is taking care of yourself. Whatever it may be for you. I have many; this blog, my youtube channel, I'm even trying to learn dance at home. Maybe for others their career is their passion. maybe you work on music or fashion. You can't put 100% of your time into a passion project, you'll no doubt feel burn out. But between your work, school, family, or whatever else you have going on, you can't forget about it either. You owe it to yourself to work on it, to reach all of your goals.
[edit 4/19] Putting your own needs before others
It's far too common these days for us to live by other people's expectations. That could be an entire post on its own so I won't let myself get too deep into this. But your needs come first. and your wants should be pretty high up there too. You have to take care of yourself if you want to be able to be there for others. So yes, that means your needs have to come before your best friends' or even your partner's. Now obviously putting others first is a virtuous trait. But giving someone the last slice of pizza is different from say giving yourself alone time when you feel overwhelmed. So give yourself the care and attention you both need and deserve. You cant take care of someone else if you can't take care of yourself.
Self-care can be tricky to define as it's different for everyone. It's even different in different scenarios or even seasons of the year. I wanted to write this to show you that there is so much more to self-care than we are taught. I obviously did not go into great detail or cover every aspect, I could write pages upon pages on that. I encourage you to look more into it and find what works for you. Maybe it's time for you to learn a bit more about yourself and your needs. Find out what recharges you, what boosts your mood, what drains you. Learn preventative measures you can take to ensure you don't feel drained as often. Let me know in the comments what you do for self-care.
just remember,
you can still be that girl boss with your side hustle while also taking time for yourself.
Much love,
Mckenna<3
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