What it means to be Unapologetically Feminine

 Recently I've been seeing a lot of posts about being "unapologetically feminine," and embracing girlhood. They talk about learning to love what you love, dressing the way you want, hanging out with your friends, and not being afraid to get emotional.  For some reason, these posts resonated with me. Once I started seeing them more I started to feel a lot more comfortable with being me. I allowed myself to be emotional, to listen to my body, my wants and needs. 

But why? What is girlhood? What exactly is being unapologetically feminine? 

I wanted to dive a little deeper into the meaning, into the feelings. I want to try to explain it, my take on it, so that hopefully others can understand. I have a strong feeling that this whole girlhood thing is going to play a big role in my journey. 

Girlhood. The time of being a girl. Growing up I remember I used to love "girly" things. I loved getting my nails done and wearing pretty dresses, I loved horses and Barbies. I loved hanging out with my friends. For my 9th birthday party I got a bunch of my girlfriends to get makeovers and dress up at this kids hair salon we used to have in our town.

Everything was a lot simpler. We planned sleepovers and would get so excited that we wouldn't even be able to sleep. We would talk for hours about all of our future plans that would never come true. My elementary school best friend and I had this dream life plan of living in a duplex, where my side was pink (my favourite colour at the time) and her side blue (her favourite colour). With other friends I remember we would stay up and watch free movies on YouTube, usually disney channel or american girl doll movies. My grade 7 friends and I once made a budget to be able to afford Taylor Swift 1989 tour tickets... Still relevant today. 

Over time a lot of these things became silly. The fun movies, the makeovers, the big dreams, and obsessing over a favourite artist. Things like "Don't be such a girl" and "That's so stereotypical" started to come up in conversations. I agree, a lot of it really is stereotypical gender roles. Of course, girls don't have to like pink and playing with dolls. But if they do, is that such a horrible thing? Often times girls begin to feel shame for liking these "girly" things as they grow older and join the working world or begin dating. Just because society's gender roles exist, it doesn't mean we can't take part if it’s something that brings us joy. 

I heard a saying recently that really stuck with me; "Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional." We may be older now, but that should not mean we have to give up these aspects of girlhood we hold so dear. Girlhood is a time of freedom and fun. Two things no one should ever choose to give up. 

Now knowing what girlhood is, we can talk about being feminine; unapologetically of course. 

I think the trait of being feminine should have less to do with the societal standards of being a woman (ie. being obsessed with shopping and shoes, dressing dainty, being polite, and obliging all rules and expectations) and more with what femininity and girlhood means to the individual. It should be about being the feminine you without feeling like it's wrong or "going backwards" to do so.  It should be about healing your inner child; doing all the things that little girl inside of you dreamt of doing. And never ever feeling sorry for it. 

I've started to embrace all of the things I used to love as a little girl, and it feels amazing. I listen to the love songs on repeat, I dance all the time, I wear my prettiest dresses just because. 

This era of womanhood is truly eye-opening and inspiring. I love seeing not just teens but full adult women watching The Summer I Turned Pretty, living out their childhood summer romance dreams. I adore seeing groups of woman dressing up in pink to go watch the Barbie movie. And I LOVE seeing all of these women going and singing their hearts out at Taylor Swift concerts. It makes me feel so happy. Happy that I get to live in a time where women no longer allow themselves to feel shame from parents, boyfriends, teachers, coworkers, or even complete strangers, for just doing the things they love. Or at least we’re starting to do that.

I’m not exactly sure how this era started but I love it. I love feeling like my real self. I love getting to take my time to figure out who I am. I love being gentle and forgiving with myself, even when it is hard to do so. I love going out and feeling loved by other woman rather than judged. When I went to the movies the other night I wore a big poofy pink dress. Something I usually would’ve felt embarrassed by and judged for. Instead, I saw so many women and little girls smiling at me, one even coming up and complimenting me for it! I love that. I want to be that for other women, another reason why I want to get over my social anxiety! 

And with this I want us all to start doing more of what brings us joy. I want us to cry. Cry without holding back because we are told we are "too emotional" for simply feeling. The whole point of life is to feel all of the emotions it offers.  I want us to look for and see the natural beauty in everything, even the mundane. And above all us, I want us to love. Love yourself, others, and be loved too. Allow yourself to be loved and surrounded by those who make you feel heard, seen, and those who treat you softly. The way you deserve to be treated.

Love and loved by,

Mckenna <3